Tag Archives: surrender

Let them do their thing and you do yours.

Screen Shot 2014-12-12 at 7.36.53 AMI’ve recently become obsessed with Buti Yoga. I literally cannot get enough. (If you haven’t tried it yet, get ready to sweat your buns off and tap into your womanpower all at the same time. If you’ve never done hip circles while holding Warrior II, you don’t know what you’re missing.)

There’s one teacher whose sequencing is kind of intricate. As I started going to her class more often I noticed myself tracking the movements that we’d done on one side of the body rather than being in the flow of the class.

I’d begin to tally all the things we did on the right and start to worry that she was going to forget her sequencing and not come back around to have us do those same movements on the left. My monkey mind was off to the races about the importance of symmetry and preventing injury and wondering how she was keeping track of all of this fast-paced movement and if she even was or if she was just making it up as she went along.

The first class I noticed myself doing that she came back to the left by the end of class and, praise the lord, we ended class having done the same movements on the left as we had on the right. And I’m pretty sure my obsessing about whether or not she would remember didn’t make a hill of beans of difference.

Mentally Micro-Managing

A couple of days later I was out for lunch with another girlfriend. An adorable server told us he’d prepare a table for us. I watched him doing his thing and it seemed like he was doing something other than getting our table ready. When another server asked if we’d been helped I told her that the guy had said he was going to set up a table for us but that he didn’t appear to be doing that.

Moments later he waved us over and I realized while I’d been judging him for not doing what he said he was going to, he’d been preparing a sweet little spot for us at the counter overlooking the open kitchen.

I think I’m not alone in spending too much time worrying about other people doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

Ever since the day in yoga that I realized I was mentally micromanaging the sequencing I’ve been practicing surrender. I’m letting the teacher do her thing. And I’m doing mine. (For the record, I’m not yet good at this. But I’m showing up and catching myself more which is all I can ask of myself.)

I’m there to practice. She’s there to teach.

Same thing at the restaurant. I was there to eat lunch. He was there to serve it. He didn’t need me halfway talking to my friend and halfway wondering if he was going to set up our table like he’d said.

twitter_standingWhen we stop worrying about others doing their thing, we get to be more present for doing our thing. (Click to Tweet.)

Each day in yoga when I notice myself wondering (or worrying) about the sequencing I come back to my body. I feel the sweat dripping down my back or the heat building in my thighs.

During that hour, my job is to practice. Her job is to teach.

The truth is, even if we do one extra hip circle on our right than on our left, the world will remain in balance. These are small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.

Releasing my need to mentally control what others are or are not doing is a practice in and of itself. Remembering what I’m there to do instead of obsessing about what they’re there to do really helps.

Over to you:

What helps you surrender when you find yourself trying to control situations that are not up to you to control? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below!


 

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What to Do When the People You Love Drive You Bananas

We’re now in the sandwich space between Thanksgiving (in the US) and Christmas. Opportunities abound to spend time with loved ones. And opportunities abound for those very same ones we love to push our buttons. Unless you’re living on another planet where feathers never get ruffled by other people, especially the ones you share genetic…Continue Reading

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A plea to women who do too much.

My first boyfriend wrote me a poem for my sixteenth birthday that, paraphrased, went something like: Child of Atlas, release the world from your shoulders. It will remain in place, remain in its eternal spin, without you holding it up. My tendency to feel responsible for every being on the planet was so apparent early…Continue Reading

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Prince Charming isn’t coming…is he?

I quote Barbara Stanny saying, “A man is not a financial plan,” in almost every one of my workshops. And yet the other day when I was having an incredible craniosacral healing session with Melanie Ericksen and she got all my chakras in order and buzzing, she asked me a question as she cradled my…Continue Reading

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Everything’s under control…I swear

Day 1 of 21 of Bindu Wiles’ 21.5.800 project. I slept 8 hours last night. I woke up feeling more or less refreshed (though still a bit hungover from a weekend without much sleep, no alcohol involved.) I meditated first thing. I weighed myself and noticed I have dropped 3.5 lbs since I stopped having…Continue Reading

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