to stay at that job that sucks our soul

to stay with that person who doesn’t bring out our best

to stay on the couch instead of taking a walk

to stay exactly where we are.

Part of my creation of and embarkation upon The Freedom Tour was a conscious move toward simplicity. I sold an apartment, got rid of two-thirds of my belongings, and decided to be homeless indefinitely. I bought a Prius, filled it with the stuff I thought I would really need, and then threw in a few extra pairs of shoes, a sunny outlook, and an open heart. Then I said goodbye to life as I knew it.

There’s a feeling of fullness that comes from letting go that can’t be replicated in any other way. (Click to Tweet)

What I got from cultivating simplicity via releasing what no longer served me (books, clothing, a home, a city, business agreements, and some psychic contracts) was a lot of space for what did serve me.

I’ve heard it told that nature abhors a vacuum. First you must be willing to let go of what’s no longer working in your life (physical, spiritual, emotional, whatever, what have you.) Then most of the time you’ve actually got to let go of it. (And no, breaking up with your dead-beat boyfriend and then texting him for late night sleepovers does not count as letting go.)

And then this beautiful thing happens. You sit with the discomfort of the empty space (be it a cupboard, a slot in your schedule, or a place in your heart.) You get your chakras all spinning in the right direction. You get your vibration running on high.

Then the universe, God, Goddess, the Divine, all that there is, the great beyondananda, or whatever you want to call it brings you something better. Often way better than anything you could have imagined in your wildest dreams.

When I did all of my letting go in early 2011, I sat in my empty apartment and sobbed the night I left New York. The vacuum felt pretty painful at first. As each person left my apartment, holding something of mine that I’d let go of, I felt a bit panicked. What if I end up needing that thing that I’ve just given away?

I of course followed my fear of needing that thing that was walking out the door all the way to its inevitable end-point:

What if I’m making a huge mistake and my life is over? What have I done?

And thinking that thought felt extremely painful. So I reminded myself that not only was my stuff in very good friends with all of my loved ones, but I could come back to New York City any time and pick up right where I left off.

Surrendering to the great unknown of emptiness freaked me out. And it made me feel free. And in that freedom and open space I manifested great love with a man I adore, a much deeper connection to my worth, a trust in my voice I’d never found before, more money, a book deal, and a life I’m in love with.

Remember, nature abhors a vacuum. The emptiness will be filled with great if you’re willing to give up crappy, ho-hum, or even good. The sheer act of releasing something that no longer serves you is a giant message that you know you’re worth more. It’s like a smoke signal of your divine value.

A year and a half after starting The Freedom Tour on February 2, 2011 I’m probably due for a new vacuum. I’ll begin with my t-shirt drawer and shoes and see where it goes from there. The great thing about letting go is that you can start anywhere.

Vacuums are transferable. If you want to attract more clients, try cleaning out your sock drawer. If you’re looking to increase your income, see if you can create some extra space in your garage.

Let something go. Even if it’s little. Create a vacuum. Send that smoke signal declaring your divine worth out to the ether. Sit with the emptiness and feel what that feels like. And then relish the beauty that manifests as nature fills that vacuum with goodies.

And please report back.

Within the last year KC launched The School For The Well Spoken Woman, a place where women on a mission can come to learn how to rock their message AND delivery.

Because if you’ve got something to say but you don’t know how to say it powerfully and in a compelling way, your mission will be thwarted from the beginning. But if you combine your mission in the world with poise, confidence, grace, presence, and superb communication skills, then people will really be able to hear what you have to say and you’ll make a far greater impact.

I’m sure you’ve heard it before: most people fear public speaking more than they fear death.

So KC certainly has plenty of people to support in moving through their discomfort and fear towards grace and power. As a prep for her upcoming events, Speak Up For Your Business (an 8-week speech writing course that I’m thrilled to be part of the faculty for) and The School For The Well Spoken Woman LIVE, KC is rolling out a free video training series covering the following juicy topics and more:

• the secret that all charismatic public speakers use to captivate their audiences
• the single most important perspective shift to turn your fear of public speaking into grace
• the one question to ask yourself that will make writing your next talk EASY and have it turn out EPIC

Sign up by clicking here to receive KC’s free Secrets to Confident, Graceful Public Speaking video training course. You’ll also have a chance to apply for her upcoming programs. Speak Up For Your Business begins May 12th and The School For The Well Spoken Woman LIVE is happening in San Francisco and NYC (you pick your location) in July.

KC is doing such critical work in the world. I’m overjoyed that The School For The Well Spoken Woman exists because helping women clarify and turn up the volume on their voices couldn’t be a more compelling mission. I’ll never forget doing Team Northrup presentations with KC back in 2005 and being struck by how much grace, elegance, presence, and power she had as a public speaker back then. So let me tell you, this woman knows her stuff!

Back in February KC flew across the country to snowy Wainscott, NY to snuggle up with Mike and me for a week because she got a download in her meditation one day that this would be the perfect thing to do. We cooked, we talked, we walked on the beach, we all wrote around the fire, and of course, we filmed Glimpse TV :)

Watch our episode below to find out:

• KC’s perspective on what is going to move us forward as a species
• how to stop what KC calls “innocent narcissism” from preventing you from speaking succes
• and how to use your breasts to enhance your impact as a speaker and a change-maker (I’m serious and it’s not what you think!)

If you want to crank up the volume on your voice and your message in the world, this is an extraordinary time to be alive. ~@KCBaker w/ @KateNorthrup on #glimpsetv (CLICK HERE TO TWEET THIS TWEETABLE)

Watch KC’s TEDx talk that I mentioned in the Glimpse TV episode below:

Sign up for KC’s free Secrets to Confident, Graceful Public Speaking video training course by clicking here.

I’m so thrilled to be a part of Speak Up For Your Business and to be joining KC, Barbara Stanny, my mom, Dr. Christiane Northrup as a guest speaker. This 8-week course is also included when you enroll in The School For The Well Spoken Woman LIVE so check that out by clicking here.

 What message do you want to get out into the world? What are you on a mission to say? What freaks you out the most about speaking in public? Leave a comment here!

I’ve been playing with you and creating in this online space for almost two years. Yet, I realized I had never directly invited this amazing community to work with me in any tangible way. So, I decided it was about time to finally sell something of mine here. People had been asking. It was time to deliver.

But throughout the entire process (and ongoing, as it’s not over yet) I felt like I was exposing myself. In a good way, of course, not like a creepy guy on the corner flashing people in a trench coat. Exposing myself in that way that makes you feel exhilarated and afraid one second to the next. It turns out that it’s scary to put yourself out there and say, “Hey! Here’s some truth and wisdom that I have to offer. Here’s an opportunity to hang with me more. Here’s a way we can work together. Here’s what I’ll give you. Here’s what it will take on your end.” The whole process churned my insides, showed me some ways I could love and trust more, and also thrilled me.

It took some notes on stickies throughout the launch because I had a feeling I’d want to share what I learned with you. So here’s some food for thought the next time you expose yourself whether in the form of published words, an online launch, a performance, a heart-felt truth-filled heart-to-heart, or in your journal by yourself in the wee hours of the night.

It doesn’t matter how, when, or where you expose yourself, or to whom. But it does matter that you do it from time to time or more often. Because the world desires what you’ve got. It requires all of you and that requires exposure.

• Don’t wait until you’re ready. You’ll never be ready. You might as well tell them who you are now. No use waiting as the right time will never come. Much like having children, there’s no convenient time to show yourself.

• Give yourself a deadline by announcing that something will be delivered to someone on a certain date at a certain time. I sent a note out to those who’d opted in to hear about the Mentoring Program to let them know they’d get details on Tuesday morning at 10am EST. Then I got my butt in gear to get those details ready to deliver. By not letting them down I didn’t let myself down.

• Create the circumstances for you to shine. My coach, the divine Chela Davison, helped me realize that the optimal conditions for me to create great work include not having very much time to produce it. I have a boat load of examples from my life where I’ve produced my best work in an hour or two right before it was due. No more getting out the flail and beating yourself up for your creative style. Own your creative process and celebrate it. If you need three days of cleaning your sock drawer, surfing Facebook, reading magazines, and staring into space in order to sit at your computer and channel brilliance for 45 minutes, set yourself up for success and make it happen.

• Once you press send or ship your art, let go. Turn off your phone and computer. Go to the beach and say a prayer to the ocean. Kiss your man. Take a nap. Give yourself the space and time to celebrate creation without having the results yet. Know that the act of creation and exposing your art has value in and of itself. Reviews, opt-ins, purchases, applications, tweets, and emails will come in eventually. But let yourself marinate in the work itself, uninfluenced by results.

• When you encounter the inevitable tech glitch, botched design, screw up at the manufacturing facility, or PR mishap, first take a deep breath. Get a snack. Drink a glass of water. You’ll make far better choices when well oxygenated, hydrated, and fed. After you’ve done those things, then respond. Let people know that you’re aware of the error and that you and your team are working to fix it. Be yourself. Be humble. Don’t over apologize. One sorry is enough and even one may not be necessary. It turns out the world has more space for you to be imperfect than you give them credit for. Take the space set aside for your humanness.

• Ask for help and then actually take it when it’s given. My man Mike filmed my sales videos, edited them, created my sales and squeeze pages, and even found custom “Apply Now” buttons in my chosen color scheme for my launch. He also listened to me as I talked through what I wanted to do for the entire launch. He offered advice, enthusiasm, and a “can do” attitude. Receiving that level of support and help required an expansion in my capacity to take in love. Sometimes the act of exposing ourselves is not a one-woman show. We often need helpers. And these helpers need to be fully received and appreciated. It’s a simple law of the universe, like what goes up must come down: that which is given must be fully received or else it can’t be fully given.

• How you do it is what you get. Make the process fun. A book written through angst and turmoil will probably make readers feel kind of crummy even if it’s really amazing work. When something is birthed through fun and pleasure it’s entire passage is lubricated with smiles, sparkles, and ease. Our culture is obsessed with the idea that suffering buys us something, but why not try on the idea that creation that’s easy is just as valuable to the world, if not more so? Plus, given that your life is now and it’s all about the journey, why not enjoy the process since you’re using precious moments of your life to do it anyway? Let your results be a reflection of the creative process. Exposing yourself doesn’t have to be painful. Pretend like you’re a two year old running naked on the beach. Let it be fun. Let it be joyful. Let it be easy.

You won’t want to miss this particularly juicy episode of Glimpse TV that I shot this past week in San Francisco with Nicole. If the fact that we’re talking about sex isn’t enough to entice you to watch, tune in to find out why I’m not scared of being “too big” anymore.

A meeting that didn’t quite go as planned.

Last February I sat across from my mom’s literary agent, Ned Leavitt, at lunch. I had scheduled the lunch to ask him questions about the publishing world as I was beginning to get a hankering to write a book. And that’s what we talked about…for the most part.

At the end of lunch as we were paying the bill and Ned began a conversation that both surprised and unraveled me. Here it is, paraphrased to the best of my memory:

Ned: I was so glad when I received your invitation to lunch, Kate, because there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while. What ever happened to your singing?

Me: Oh no, that’s my sister you’re thinking of. She’s the singer.

Ned: No, not your sister. You. I have a vivid memory of you singing for your mother’s fiftieth birthday. Something came through you when you sang that was so earthy and vital and alive and I’ve never forgotten it. What ever happened to your singing?

Me (in tears): Well, I guess the answer to your question is what I just said: my sister.

Hiding my light under a bushel.

(Thanks for the expression, Mom!)

***Necessary interjection: My sister and I have an amazing, deep friendship. We love each other so much and support each other in everything we do. I realized in this moment with Ned that I had given up performing at eighteen after landing a starring role in a Brown University musical my Freshman year because I subconsciously thought that there was only room for one performer in our family. My sister seemed to want it more so I decided to switch directions and focus more on business than on being an artist. Let it be known publicly that my sister is my biggest fan, has encouraged me to tap back into my artist/performer self continuously and has never, in any way, dissuaded me from shining. Any hang ups I’ve had about this have been purely in my head. Thank you Annie for being the most amazing sister I could ever dream of. ***

After I blew my nose and got myself back together, I explained to Ned that I had given up singing and performing so as not to be in competition with my sister. He told me that though he had no doubt that  part of my purpose was to be a leader and community builder in the business world, he suspected there was something else in me.

F*ck it.

Six months later my friend Kirsten Lewis began producing a cabaret burlesque show called Paper Dolls. She asked me to do an act and I politely declined saying: “Oh no, I’m too busy/I’m a business woman not a performer/performing in burlesque shows isn’t part of my brand/(insert other stupid excuse here.)”

Given that I’m about to leave NYC, that I’m embarking on a journey into the unknown, and that I’m leaving more space for possibility by allowing myself to be more of who I am and less of who I’m not, I decided that now would be a good time to let my performer come back out to play.

So on Tuesday night at Paper Dolls at Sway Lounge I let “Bubbles” (my stage name) come out to entertain an intimate group of 75 New Yorkers who braved the cold. Sandwiched between a hula dancer, some girls in pasties and tassels, and my friend Kirsten and her baton, I took the mic for a spin.

And though I was scared out of my mind and I was really pissed at myself for saying yes to this before the performance, as soon as I was out on stage and I gave myself permission to lighten up, I LOVED IT! I tapped into a part of myself that I’ve not invited out in public in at least nine years and IT FELT SOOOO GOOD!

A once in a lifetime (sort of).

It’s not lost on me that this all occurred the same week as I deleted my external drive of video footage for Glimpse TV. It’s not lost on me that since Tuesday night I’ve felt happier, more energized, and more inspired than I have all year. I wrote to a group of friends before the performance that this would be a once in a lifetime chance to see me perform. I think I lied. I think I’ll be doing this more often.

Here’s to doing things that freak you out. Here’s to letting your freak flag fly. Here’s to grabbing the mic and serenading someone (or a hundred someones). Here’s to not hiding your light under a bushel. Here’s to giving yourself permission to be seen.

Much love,

Bubbles

***For those of you in NYC, I’ll be performing in Paper Dolls again on Tuesday, January 18th at Sway Lounge in NYC. Join the Paper Dolls Facebook group and my list to make sure you get the invite.***

And now, Glimpse TV presents….Bubbles!

(Disclaimer to make myself feel better because this is really scary to put this out there: the footage is not professional, there were a few mic feedback moments, and my voice is slightly rusty after not singing for nine years. But progress not perfection! I’m proud enough of it to share it with you so enjoy!)

My NYC Singing Debut: Come Rain or Come Shine from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

What have you done lately that freaked you out?

How did you feel afterward?

Is there a part of you that hasn’t come out in a while that it might be time to invite out of hiding?

Leave a comment!