Category Archives: Pleasure

Why I’m leaning back instead of leaning in this year.

“I wish I’d worked more,” said no one ever on their death bed.

Yesterday I was interviewed for a podcast and when I was asked what I want to do in 2014 I replied: less.

2013 was amazing. I turned 30. I got engaged. I had my first book come out. I launched my first digital program. Business tripled. I moved into the first home I’ve EVER felt like I have enough space in. A banner year for sure.

But you know what? I worked a shit ton. And yes, that’s a measurement.

At any given moment I felt like I had three or four projects I was in the middle of and at least one deadline looming over my head.

I was recently having a chat with my Uncle Phil who also happens to be one of my business mentors and a very wise guy and he said this:

“You need to learn how to stop validating your existence through action.”

Woah Nelly!

Here’s something that is not news:

We teach what we need to learn.

Financial freedom is a spectacular goal. It’s something I’m proud to teach about and stand for.

But it’s the other kind of freedom that’s a bit more of a sticky wicket.

The kind of freedom where we don’t feel guilty after sleeping 10 hours and where, if we produce nothing in a day, we don’t feel any less worthy of a human.

This year I’m after freedom, just like in years past.

But this year the kind of freedom I’m after looks like white space in the calendar, more unplanned days, and letting myself off the hook for taking a break.

There are times when your nose needs to be right on that grindstone. And there are times when you need to lean back.

This year I’m gonna see what happens when I lean back instead of lean in.

Here’s what I’m pretty darn sure of:

  • Production is not the meaning of life. (Tweet it!)
  • Working more hours does not increase our inherent worth.
  • The best ideas often come while we’re taking a break.
  • We can have a lasting impact on the world while steering our course according to ease and feeling good.
  • Working less can net more.
  • We are more able to be of service when we’ve slept enough and allowed ourselves to relax recently.

Every time I ask myself what I want in 2014 I get the same answers:

  • blank space
  • unplanned time
  • less is more
  • ease

We don’t have many models of people consciously organizing their time around enjoyment, doing less, and choosing ease. But we have a few. And that’s enough.

I got a letter in the mail from Leonie Dawson with her 2014 Create Your Amazing Year Life + Biz Edition Workbook. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this one part:

“I only work 2-3 hours a day. I’ve never worked full time hours in my business – even as it doubles (or even triples) in size each year. My priority is to spend lots of happy, gentle, creative + adventure time with the loves of my life: my husband Chris and my daughters.”

Game. Changing.

When I read that my not so small, still voice screamed out: I WANT THAT!

What if we practiced doing less, saying no to more of the external so we can say yes to more of the internal, and taking time to simply be?

I think it would create a revolution in the gentlest, most-relaxed, organic way possible.

It would be a revolution where we focus on living instead of doing, where striving gives way to feeling good, and where being is valued as much (or more than) doing.

I’ll be part of that revolution. Will you?

Leave a comment and let me know how you’re leaning back this year.

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We all just want to feel good. Here’s how.

This morning the first thing I did after making some eggs was to sit down with Mike and go to Danielle LaPorte’s new website. I wanted to see what she had created. I wanted to feel what it felt like. I wanted to celebrate this new iteration. It felt like Christmas. A few years ago DanielleContinue Reading

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Unwrinkle your panties.

I first met Regena Thomashauer, also known as Mama Gena, when my mom sent me under cover to scope her out at her School of Womanly Arts. I sat in her living room with thirty other women feeling like I was being let in on the biggest, best, most well-kept secret EVER: that the keyContinue Reading

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Slow Sex: Glimpse TV with Nicole Daedone

I first met Nicole Daedone, founder of One Taste and author of Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm on the phone. Somehow I got offered a free coaching session with her and we spoke the Monday before I left New York City on The Freedom Tour. Within moments she had meContinue Reading

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My “Stop-doing” List (thanks Marie + Danielle)

I’m super jazzed to be attending an event lead by two of my favorite women of all time (who I brag I had a little bit to do with connecting), Marie Forleo and Danielle LaPorte. Come hang with me in NYC. It’s called Selling Your Soul and it’s on May 12th in downtown New YorkContinue Reading

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The secret to everlasting weight loss: Glimpse TV with Jena La Flamme

The secret to everlasting weight loss: Glimpse TV with Jena La Flamme from Kate Moller on Vimeo. Jena La Flamme is purely and simply a radiant being. We met five years ago at a pool party in the middle of Times Square when I first moved to NYC and I knew immediately that there wasContinue ReadingContinue Reading

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I never thought I would do this…

A meeting that didn’t quite go as planned. Last February I sat across from my mom’s literary agent, Ned Leavitt, at lunch. I had scheduled the lunch to ask him questions about the publishing world as I was beginning to get a hankering to write a book. And that’s what we talked about…for the mostContinue Reading

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What you can do every morning and evening to feel more vibrant: Glimpse TV with Maddy Vertenten

There are so many reasons why I love Maddy Vertenten of Vibrant One, starting from the fact that she’s also a native Mainer, stopping in the middle at the fact that she’s one of the best, most perceptive listeners I’ve ever met, and ending with the fact that she couldn’t be more adorable. (This isContinue Reading

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One Simple Step You Can Take To Feel More Alive Right This Instant: Glimpse TV with Rochelle Schieck

My friend Rochelle Schieck is an adorable, sexy, wise, playful, pixie-person who seems to leave a trail of glitter wherever she goes. She has traveled the world, studied with many of the yoga, consciousness, and personal growth greats, and has most recently created a form of movement she calls Qoya after an ancient Peruvian wordContinue Reading

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Glimpse TV with Dyana Valentine: 3 steps to getting turned on (about your life) right NOW

When Dyana Valentine first walked into my apartment she immediately started taking pictures. It caught me off guard but was nonetheless charming. Within moments we dove right into talking about the good stuff: sex, spirituality, money, vanity, relationships…plus she had me practically peeing my pants laughing within seconds of saying “hello.” I had heard ofContinue Reading

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