s Pleasure | Kate Northrup

Category Archives: Pleasure

Without Apology

Without Apology



I have watched my friend Elizabeth DiAlto transform since I met her in 2012.

She’s gone from fast-talking, fast-paced New York hustler to embracing her untamed, feminine soul. She went from teaching women to get tighter to inspiring them to embrace their bodies and whole selves. She’s still got her fiery Staten Island roots, but they’ve been planted in the fertile soil of her wild, wonderful, out of the box essence.

I’ve witnessed her peel back the layers of who she thought she should be to reveal the magnificence of who she really is, no matter what anyone else might think. She inspires me to do the same on a regular basis.

She founded Wild Soul Movement and has been a stand for women being more of who they are, unabashedly, through her work. She’s got an amazing business, a beautiful relationship, and a gorgeous life.

This week Liz is sharing some of her best resources and stories of how to start living without apology, one of the things I admire most about her.

Liz is sexy, delicious, hilarious, and a true embodiment of freedom. She’s got some amazing goods for you – enjoy!

When I asked Kate what felt like the juiciest topic I could bring to her blog while she snuggles up with her family and takes some time off, she said, “I’d love to hear about being unabashedly ourselves, and loving our bodies. Living without apology.”

I immediately remembered something Amy Poehler said, “It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for.”

Though the details of the stories behind how we learned to be sorry for being women might be different, the actual things we learned to be sorry for are all the same.

Our voices.

Our bodies.

Our power.

As I sat in front of the blank screen deciding what to share, I realized I was having a hard time because those three topics are vast, deep and call for so much more than a single blog post to do them justice. They’re also intertwined in EVERYTHING I write, talk, and teach about. So, in the name of being unabashedly myself, I’m following my gut on this one.

Instead of writing a new post, I’ve put together my very best resources to support you in unabashedly being yourself, loving your body and living without apology.  {TWEET IT}


There are five podcast episodes, ten blog posts, and two YouTube videos with practices that have helped me and tons of women in my community enormously over the last two years – Breast Massage and Forgiveness.

Before I share the goods though, a quick story on the benefits of no longer apologizing for being yourself sprinkled with a some “always love and trust your body” dust.

It was April 2014 and I’d been seeing my current partner for about six months. It wasn’t serious but it wasn’t not serious. At the time he was traveling full time, so I would see him for a few days or a few weeks at a time then not for days or weeks. For that reason neither one of us felt super compelled to commit, but we did have some agreements around intimacy with other people, which at that time did not take kissing or sexual touch with other people off the table.

So he calls me one day and tells me about the night before. He’d gone out with a few new friends and at the end of the night, everyone else had left other than him and one woman. They ended up having a pretty intimate time dancing, but that was it, nothing sexual. When he told me this in my mind I thought, “There’s nothing wrong with that, he didn’t break any of our agreements.” And I even said that to him on the phone. But when I hung up, let the information sink into my body and felt about it instead of thinking about it, it was not OK with me.

This was a pivotal moment where I had a choice. I could choose the way I used to do things which was internalize my feelings and deal with them on my own so as not to come off as crazy, emotional or high maintenance. That kind of withholding isn’t even an apology for being who you are, it’s a flat out denial of what’s true. But instead I chose to speak up.

The next morning I called him and shared exactly how I felt in my body. And how it conflicted with what my head was saying, but my practice was to always trust my body and not logic my way out of things anymore. I then shared that I wasn’t interested in asking him to deny himself of his wants or desires, but if he really felt the need to continue having intimate interactions with women like this, I was no longer interested in having a relationship with him.

After a long pause he said, “Ok, I’m in.” And then another long pause…”I think you just tricked me into being in a monogamous relationship.” To which I replied, “Great. Stick around as long as it feels good and feel free to peace out when it doesn’t.” That conversation happened a year and half ago and we just celebrated our one year anniversary of living together in San Diego.

Had I apologized for my feelings or my body’s wisdom or denied her strong urgings, who knows if we’d even be together. So now that you’ve got an idea of why it’s worth it to break old habits and patterns to form new ones and take responsibility for the experiences and relationships you want to have in your life, enjoy the resources below, filled with more stories, a ton of guidance, practices and loving encouragement for doing these things your own way, too.


If you have any questions or just want to share your experience with me, leave a comment at the end of the post. I’ll come back to Kate’s blog to check in and see how all of this lands for you.


Podcast Episodes:

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

Own Your Singular Truth with Meggan Watterson

Evolved Relationships and Loving Your Body Even When Your Partner Might Not

My Business and Money Story

How to Be a Free Range Adult with Ali Shanti


Getting Naked and Falling in Love

Self-Acceptance before Self Improvement, Please

For the Love of Boundaries

Own Your Messiness and Always Tell the Truth

The Fullness of Your Love

Ecstasy Rising

Feelings, Fears and First World Problems

Why Getting Pissed Off at the Fitness Industry Is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me (Part I)

How I Started Listening to My Body

Why Finish What You Start Is Terrible Advice


Breast Massage

This practice is phenomenal for connecting to your body, honoring yourself as a woman and opening your heart.

Use this practice to move past the emotional blocks, painful memories and resentment that’s between you and what you want in life.
Elizabeth DiAlto
Creator of Wild Soul Movement + #IAMSACRED

The first official Wild Soul Movement Retreat is happening Nov 11-16, 2015 in Costa Rica!
Details here.

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