They’re sitting around in this seaside village and they notice an elderly Mexican gentleman fishing at the end of a pier.

In talking with him they find out that a huge supply of rare, super-valuable fish are swimming around in that very spot. But the gentleman just sits and stares at the vast blue all day and maybe catches one or two to feed his family. Or none. The catching is not really the point.

The investment banker dudes are flabbergasted. In broken Spanish, they excitedly tell the calm, steady fisherman that he’s sitting on a gold mine. Waving their hands around rather spastically, they explain that, with the abundance of fish swimming around right there in that very spot, they could work with him to set up a huge enterprise. With the amount of rare, sought-after fish that they would be able to catch with the help of a commercial infrastructure, all of them–the fisherman included–could make tons and tons of money.

The corners of the fisherman’s eyes crinkle with a barely detectable, knowing grin.

In a thickly accented, gravelly voice he says:

“Why should I catch many, many fish to sell to make lots of money? So I can retire by the sea in Mexico and relax all day with a fishing pole in my hand?”

Point taken. The banker dudes shuffle off with their tails between their legs. They spend the rest of the day drinking Coronas with their toes in the sand, pondering the meaning of life.

I find that, more often than not, what I truly want is closer than I think. It doesn’t require setting up a multi-national, multi-million-dollar enterprise. It doesn’t even require a six-figure income.

For me it’s all about having as much time as I want to spend with the people who mean the most to me. And making a difference in the world.

What is it for you?

Before you set up your corporation, launch your product, sign the contract, or call the lawyer, ask yourself what you’re really after.

Then remember the Mexican fisherman and the banker guys.

What you really want is closer than you think. (Tweet it.)

What do you really want? Have you ever found yourself making it harder or more complicated than necessary to get it?

Photo Credit: Andy on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/people/atmtx/

Here’s what I noticed about this storied city:

• there are hundreds and hundreds of cafes where people can be found sitting and relaxing at all hours of the day as though they have nothing else to do and nowhere else to be
• people don’t rush getting on and off the Metro like they do in New York City
• everyone seems to eat lots of gluten, dairy, and sugar yet no one is fat
• at restaurants, people sit and look at one another and talk, instead of looking at their phones
• people walk down the street looking in front of them rather than at their phones

Here’s what I also found out:

Everyone in Paris takes July and August off. It’s standard for companies to give 7-10 weeks of paid vacation to their employees.

We spoke with some friends who are expanding their business in France and they told us that it’s completely impossible to move forward with anything business-wise for all of July and August. People are literally offended if you call them during their vacation. It’s sacred time.

Having spent only  three days there, and in holiday mode to boot, I’m aware that these pieces of information do not likely cover every aspect of Parisian life, and that there may be some grimmer realities going on adjacent to the practices and cultural norms described above.

Nonetheless, these practices and norms do leave me with the following important question:

WTF, America?

Part of the reason I left NYC after living there for six years was that I craved a slower, more intentional lifestyle that didn’t include constantly striving.

I wanted to recalibrate my inner compass for enjoyment and lifestyle rather than achievement.

Yet, here’s my confession:

• I strive a lot.
• I have tons of lofty, achievement-oriented goals.
• I often check my phone and email obsessively.
• I regularly find myself planning what’s next instead of enjoying what’s now.

Yesterday I got into a bubble bath at 5pm, after a day of rain-soaked sightseeing.

It felt profoundly luxurious.

And here’s what I realized:

I work for myself, and I have a solid foundation of residual income that comes in whether I’m working or not.

I can freaking take a bubble bath any time of any day that I want.

Therefore, Mike and I have agreed to incorporate a few choice Parisian lifestyle habits into our own life.

Walking down the street looking up instead of at my phone, having coffee to stay rather than to go, stopping to take a bath, and enjoying what’s happening now can all be summed up in one word:

SANE.

No matter where you stand on the old reincarnation question, I think we can all agree that this one life we’re currently living is precious.

So often, we’re too busy going for the next thing and we forget that our precious life is happening now.

No matter how great our lives are, we can always be more present in them.

Want to add a little flavor of Paris to your life too?

Practice being present with what’s now instead of planning what’s next. (Tweet it)

When what’s next germinates in the fertile soil of what’s now, the present and the future both get a whole lot brighter.

Have you ever traveled and gotten some wisdom nuggets to bring home with you?

What lifestyle tidbits from other cultures have you incorporated into your own life? What have you noticed?

My friend Terri Cole shared this quote with me last week:

“Overwhelm is just a mountain of unmade decisions.”

Mike and I are on a plane flying to Europe for 10 days. And yet, moments ago as we awaited our boarding call, instead of deliciously anticipating the romance of touring London and Paris with the man I love, I was obsessing and stressing in rapid, repetitive succession.

Despite Mike picking me up and twirling me around, telling me that everything was going to be okay, and smothering me with kisses, I just felt freaking OVERWHELMED.

You feel me? 

How many times has your stress about everything you have to do, everything you haven’t done — and everything everyone else on your team or in your family is probably not doing but should be doing — taken you away from enjoying the present moment?

I bet it’s a lot of times.

So, the reality is that I’m taking a vacation in the middle of an extremely full time in our business.

We have a BIG event coming up in Portland, Maine, on June 15th with 10+ amazing speakers and 500+ guests.

My book launches in a few months and it’s crunch time for planning and implementing the marketing strategy.

Our team is sprouting faster than I can say “chia,” and that growth requires love, attention, and mentorship from both Mike and myself.

We just moved, are still living out of boxes, and are in the process of hiring someone to help us keep the details of our life and business running smoothly.

About 30 minutes ago whilst awaiting our flight at the beautiful Portland International Jetport, Mike reminded me that our life is probably never going to be not busy.

You know what? He’s right. And his apt statement probably applies to you, too.

Your life is probably never going to be not busy. So just decide to enjoy the fullness. (Tweet it.)

How, pray tell, does one do that?

Well, I’ll tell you what I did just now that helped me plant my tush in the present and feel better pretty much immediately.

Try these 5 ways to stop freaking out and just freaking enjoy the moment:

• Take a few deep breaths way down in your belly with your eyes closed. (I know you’ve been trying to suck in your belly all day. Just during this exercise let it all hang out. Trust me, no one is watching.)

• Write down the most immediate, finite action steps you know you need to take. This step stops your mind from constantly and obsessively reminding you of your to do’s as though you should be doing them every second of every day (for more on this concept, read David Allen’s awesome book Getting Things Done).

• Knock one or two items off the list that take less than 3 minutes each. While I was just sitting in the airport, I made a call I’d been thinking about making all day and sent off an email I’d been meaning to send for a couple days. Total time spent: about 10 minutes. Relief experienced: vast and profound.

• Get excited about how great your life is. I must give credit to Mike for this one. He said that when he feels overwhelmed he focuses on how great his life is. Then he feels better. What can you put your attention on right now that’s awesome about your life? Remember: what we put our attention on grows. Focus on the great stuff instead of the overwhelm.

• Make a decision or two. If, in fact, overwhelm is just a mountain of unmade decisions, making a few will immediately release tension. Start with one that’s not super complicated and notice how you get on a decision-making roll. Try doing this first thing in the morning while you’re still feeling minty fresh.

Instead of feeling frazzled and agitated, I’m now calmly watching the sun set over the friendly skies and listening to Tina Turner sing “What’s Love Got to Do With It?”.

And you know what? I’m getting excited about the trip.

Did I finish everything on my list before getting on the plane? Nope.

Will I ever finish everything on my list? Nope.

Will you? Nope.

Next time your mind is deep in the weeds of the project, the proposal, your marriage, moving, your job, or your life at large, do the 5 steps above and then remember:

You’re never going to get it all done. And that’s more than okay.

Thanks for listening. I feel better. I hope you do too.

Now I’m going to go enjoy Paris and I invite you to go enjoy whatever great thing you’ve got going on. (You know you’ve got something.)

Got any other good ideas for dealing with overwhelm? Write ‘em down in the comments. 

P.S. I’m doing a meet-up in London on Saturday, May 25th in Swiss Cottage at 11am. Email us if you want to join in the fun!

***Photo Credit: AlaskaTeacher on Flickr.***

(That’s my mom and me on the left.)

My mom recently told me about working with her lawyer regarding a course she was teaching called Lightening the Mother Load: Healing Strategies for Daughters. He was trying to grasp what it was about and she started with:

“Well, think about your wife and her mother”

He stopped her right there with: “Say no more!”

The mother-daughter relationship is so ripe with opportunity for loving the gifts of the feminine unabashedly, for honoring the Great Mother and Mother Earth, and for the celebration of being a woman.

Is it a complicated relationship? Ummm, yeah.

Is it hard? Yep, a lot of the time it is.

Does it have the potential to be one of the most healing relationships in your life? You betcha.

You know what they say:

If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

The relationships or situations in our lives that are the most challenging are often the most fertile with opportunities for big love.

Our moms wouldn’t drive us so bonkers if we didn’t love them so fiercely. You were formed in your mother’s body. There’s no closer relationship on earth. You are, quite literally, her.

There are a lot of things that are easy to be grateful for about my mom (like how she always told Annie and I we could trust how we felt no matter what. This is the single biggest contributing factor to my being a sane, happy adult.) I’ve written her a private letter of gratitude that I’m giving her today that focuses on all the obviously amazing ways that she rocks as a mom.

But what about the gifts we’ve been given by our mother’s that, when we were given them, weren’t so obviously fabulous?

What if this Mother’s Day (that’s today) you decided to love your mom with vigor, unabashedly, as a way of not only celebrating her, but also as a way of shining some love on the parts of you that you have previously found unlovable?

I’ll start. Here’s a public letter to my mom to thank her for all the things she is or that I am that at some point in my life I have had a hard time loving.

It is not until we learn to love the hard to love parts that we really get what true love is.

Mom,

Thank you for the Hobbit Feet. I posted a picture of mine on Instagram yesterday and it sparked the most adorable conversation with someone else who’s whole family has them too. Even though I was embarrassed to wear flip flops as a teenager because I didn’t want people to see them, I get it now how awesome it is to be grounded like us. Thank you for that tap-root to Mother Earth. Thank you for my first chakra the size of Texas. Thank you for my wide, grounded, very much on the earth feet.

Thank you for laughing as loud as you want, no matter where you are or who is trying to shush you. I used to be mortified at the theater when the people in the row in front would turn around and glare at you to try and quiet you down. But now when I hear that same enthusiastic laugh come out of my mouth and people give me funny looks, I get it. I’m so grateful you never quieted down. Neither will I.

Thank you for not being like the other mothers. I so desperately wanted for us to be normal when I was a kid. And the truth is, it just wasn’t going to happen. Thank you for hanging out on the fringe, for doing ceremonies around the lunar calendar, for suggesting Imprint Removals and Divine Love Healings to clear up physical symptoms, and for believing in angels. Thank you for not wearing the matching Laura Ashley dresses with me and Annie even though we really wanted you too. Thank you for not caring what other people think. Thank you for being wacky and wonderful always.

Thank you for sticking up for me. I wanted to climb under a table and die when I found out you marched into my first grade class to set the teacher straight about telling the class we could only go to the bathroom at certain, pre-approved times. But it also engrained in me that I had a woman who would be there for me (and my bladder’s needs) no matter what. I knew I was safe. Thank you for letting me quit Junior Great Books. Thank you for letting me quit soccer and swimming and piano. Thank you for not letting anyone get in the way of me trusting myself and my body. 

Thank you for the very big shoes you’ve given Annie and me to fill. There are some days when I think it would beeasier if I didn’t have such a lofty legacy. Then I would be more comfortable with mediocrity. And life would be easier in certain ways, but oh so boring in others. Thank you for playing full out, saying things that others are too afraid to, and for being a pioneer. Thank you for setting the bar high in your career, and more importantly, in your life. I’ve seen you give up good for great many times. I shall continue to go for great in your honor (and in mine.)

You have been, and continue to be, the most perfect mother for me. Thank you for being all of you and for letting me be all of me.

Love,

Kate

It is not until we learn to love the hard to love parts that we really get what true love is. (Tweet it.)

What have you inherited from your mom that you used to not be happy about? How has it been a gift in the end?

I’ve been getting little messages for the past year or so, though, that producing all the time, even if I’m jazzed about what I’m doing, is probably not the best way to go.

Last year at the Hay House Ignite conference in San Jose, I was keynoting along with my friends Latham Thomas and Alisa Vitti.

These women are leaders in natural women’s health, and during each of their talks I took a note to myself in my notebook:

Start blocking out my period in my calendar and planning downtime around it.

Both Latham and Alisa talked about the cycles of the seasons and the cycles of the body. They suggested organizing life (and business) around these cycles instead of trying to work at a uniform pace in spite of them.

Two weekends ago, at the Ignite conference in NYC, I took the same note in another notebook–roughly 11 months after the first time I took this note.

Here’s my confession: Until this very morning I still had yet to block out time in my calendar around my period.

My mom practically wrote the owner’s manual for listening to and honoring the female body. The chapter on the menstrual cycle from her book, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, has changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of women. I know that her work has also deeply inspired my friends Latham and Alisa.

But the truth is, I have IMMENSE resistance around taking a break around “that time of the month.” There’s a part of me that feels like I shouldn’t need to. And, quite frankly, I often get annoyed by the whole thing.

As a woman who frequently talks and writes about honoring our bodies and listening to their wisdom, this is not something I’m proud of.

So that’s why I’m writing this and outing myself here. Just before I wrote this post, I sat down and blocked out the week around my next expected period to chill out. Finally.

The idea of taking a full week off to let my body do its thing and go inward freaks me the hell out. Here’s what goes on in my head:

• What will I actually do, just sit around on the couch all day? I’ll be terminally bored.
• What if I fall behind on all of my projects?
• What if there are important interviews or emails or meetings that I miss that week because I’ve gone within?
• If I do this every single month, we’re talking a quarter of the year gone. I just don’t have time for that.

I’m thinking these thoughts and taking the action to block the time out in my calendar, anyway.

I would imagine that, when it comes to taking time off, whether it’s for your period or otherwise, you might have had some of the thoughts I wrote above .

But I’m trusting my girls Alisa and Latham, and my mom, and believing them when they say that my body and soul need a break during that time. And I’m trusting that if I take that break, my body will thank me and there will be more than enough time and energy to do the things I want to do during the other times of the month.

Because there is a deeper, wiser part of myself that knows that if I follow through on the commitment to honor my cycle, my body will be happier, and so will I.

This is the part of me that said yes to participating in Sara Avant Stover’s I Heart My Moon Cycle Month. It lasts for one lunar cycle, February 18 – March 17th, and it features myself and 27 other feminine leaders talking about our periods.

When she asked me to shoot a video talking about my cycle, I cringed. I thought:

• That’s so weird! 
• Why would I talk about that on video?
• That’s far too private.
• I talk and write about money. What does this have to do with money?

But I shot the video anyway, because there’s a part of me that knows how important this is.

Half of the world’s population has a period. The reason any human being is here on the planet is largely because of the cycles of the female body. Therefore, this is important and relevant to EVERYONE.

So even though it weirds me out, I’m sharing my contribution to Sara’s I Heart My Moon Cycle Month.

Watch the video here. (You’ll have to scroll down a bit–I’m Day 13.)

This conversation is long overdue–for me, for you, for us, for everyone.

Check out my video and those of the other 27 women who are part of this inspiring (albeit uncomfortable–for me) movement.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments:

Does talking about your period make your skin crawl?

Do you organize your time around the cycles of your body, the moon, and/or the seasons?

How do you feel about your cycle?

May we all continue to deepen our relationships with our bodies and with Mother Earth, even if it makes us nervous :)