Category Archives: Musings

Finding space to do less in your life (Part II of the Doing Less Series)

(This post is part of a multi-part series on doing less. Get on the list to get the next installment in your inbox.)

So you’ve determined you want to do less to get more out of life.

You’re tired of feeling harried, stressed, rushed, and like the seams of your life are busting from being overstuffed.

You’re ready to be a human being, not a human doing.

But what does that actually mean? What does it actually look like?

I’ve asked myself that question a lot over the last six months as I’ve been noodling around on the power of less.

In part one of this series, 8 signs that youre addicted to busyness, I promised to share some specific ways that I’ve recently been creating space to do less in my life.

If the conscious pursuit of doing less were my life span, I feel as though I’m in my infancy on this one. But we have to start somewhere.

SAY NO TO ALMOST EVERYTHING

You may love to say yes. (I love to say yes.) But years of saying yes to everything that came my way left me feeling like a slave to my overburdened schedule. Instead of pursuing my own priorities, I was spending all day every day serving everyone else’s.

While that may sound selfless and lovely, it actually made me feel spent and resentful. And guess what I had left to devote to my own dreams and desires? Nada.

Make saying no part of your spiritual practice. Will it feel uncomfortable at first? Yep. Will you disappoint some folks? Yep.

But here’s the key:

twitter_standingSaying yes to everything cheapens your yes. (Tweet it)

 

I used to be a bit of a yes ho, if you will. Not only did I feel at the mercy of other people’s agendas, it made me feel a little dirty over time.

Now that I’m far more discriminating with what I opt in to, my yes actually means something. I trust myself more. I’m in integrity instead of running around like a loose people-pleaser.

Thou shalt filter

How do you know what to say yes to and what to say no to? Create a filter.

Darren Hardy, publisher of SUCCESS magazine, shares a concept called “the vital few.” This is a very short list (2-3 items max) of activities that you and only you can do which move you forward toward your goals.

Your vital few are the highest leverage ways you can spend your time. Said another way, when you do this stuff you get a really big bang for the time you invest. You get more done in less time. You feel incredibly energized. You make leaps forward instead of baby steps.

Ask yourself:

-What can I, and only I, do to get closer to my most important goals?

-What do I absolutely love doing that also moves me toward my goals?

Your answers will point you in the direction of your vital few.

My vital few are writing/content creation and connecting with potential new members of The Freedom Family.

When an opportunity or task comes across your radar, ask yourself:

Will doing this help me spend more time doing my vital few?

Follow Your Enthusiasm

I recently said no to a really cool opportunity because it didn’t align with my top three priorities for the coming year. I felt really excited when I got the email and really excited after the initial exploratory phone call. But when I looked at my top three things I want to focus on right now, it just wasn’t on the list.

(I heard a great tip from Warren Buffet for choosing the top priorities: write down all of your priorities, pick the top three, then throw out the rest of the list. Freeing and terrifying, simultaneously. I highly recommend it.)

That said, weeks later I kept thinking about how fun it would be to pursue this project I’d said no to. It began popping into my head every day for over a week. I felt genuinely enthusiastic about it.

So I emailed the person back and asked if we could open the door of possibility again.

twitter_standingLet your enthusiasm lead you where your head sometimes cant. (Tweet it.)

Because, while having filters that help you determine what to say yes and no to is helpful, sometimes you have to throw those out and follow what moves you.

If you’re nervous about following your enthusiasm because you tend to feel enthusiastic about a lot of things, give yourself time. Ask for 48 hours before you make your decision so that you can see if that enthusiasm is just a quick dopamine shot of feeling wanted or if it’s the kind of sustainable energy you’ll need to follow through with a project and feel good about it the whole way through.

In the next installment of the “Doing Less Series” I’ll share a few loving guidelines I’ve put in place for myself which I call my “Rules for Sane Living.” They help me do what needs to be done while feeling spacious and calm.

OVER TO YOU:

Have you ever felt like a “yes ho”?

What filters do you have in place for helping you decide what to say no to and what to say yes to?

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8 signs that you’re addicted to busyness

(This is part one of a multi-part series on doing less. Get on the list to get the next installment right in your inbox.) It’s recently come to my attention that I have a habit of, or perhaps even an addiction to, proving my worth through constant activity. This habit has been on my radarContinue Reading

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Stop trying to be confident and do this instead: Glimpse TV with Tara Mohr

About a month before our wedding I got a book in the mail with a beautiful brunette on the cover. I get a steady stream of books to review, and sometimes I do so in a timely manner. And other times not so much. Technically, I didn’t have “time”to be diving into a new book.Continue Reading

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How to go from having enough to having more than enough: Glimpse TV with Barbara Stanny

Barbara Stanny is the world’s leading expert on women and wealth. And I’m profoundly grateful to call her a friend and mentor. Reading her book Overcoming Underearning and taking her workshop by the same name (three times!) were among the greatest influences on my journey to becoming debt-free. There are three stages of wealth, BarbaraContinue Reading

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What are you getting out of staying right where you are?

This past weekend I had the great privilege of attending Barbara Stanny’s Sacred Success Retreat. Her book of the same name is available for pre-order right now and will be featured on Glimpse TV in a couple of weeks — make sure you’re on the list so you don’t miss it. There are some profoundContinue Reading

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How to achieve a really big goal & other tips on pursuing a quest – Glimpse TV with Chris Guillebeau

When you feel called to say yes to an invitation, even if you’re not sure why, simply say yes. Four years ago almost to the day my friend texted me that Chris Guillebeau was in my hometown, Portland, ME, on his book tour. I happened to be in Portland that day with my mom. (IContinue Reading

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My baby is one year old today.

My mom always says that a few years after I was born it was clear to her that she either had another baby or a book in her — but not both. I always wanted a little brother, so when I was younger that story kind of annoyed me. But now I get it. (Epilogue:Continue Reading

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Missing something? I’ve got your ingredients right here.

We need each other. There’s a lot of talk in the self-actualization space about masculine energy and feminine energy. When I first heard about this concept I got very tied up in worrying about which one I was using and whether or not I was doing it “right.” Most of the time I felt likeContinue Reading

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An intimate look behind the scenes of my business model

This week I’m taking my annual sojourn to Salt Lake City, Utah, the home of my product partner, USANA, for its international convention. I don’t talk a ton about my network marketing business, but since I’ll be posting a lot on social media this week about my USANA family and what we’re up to atContinue Reading

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Is it my intuition or is it my resistance? Here’s how to know the difference.

On the one hand, there’s listening to your body, your inner wisdom, your gut feelings, your intuition, or really whatever you want to call your divine instinct. And then on the other, there’s resistance. What’s the difference? This is something I grapple with daily. I’m a worker. I can push through and produce. I canContinue Reading

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