Stop trying to be confident and do this instead: Glimpse TV with Tara Mohr

bookcover2About a month before our wedding I got a book in the mail with a beautiful brunette on the cover.

I get a steady stream of books to review, and sometimes I do so in a timely manner. And other times not so much.

Technically, I didn’t have “time”to be diving into a new book. I had so much to do — prepare for the wedding, wrap up business so that I could take time off after the wedding — reviewing a book wasn’t really on my priority list.

This one, though, called to me more than the others. The title, Playing Big, whispered to me from my coffee table until finally I picked it up a few days after it arrived.

I was hooked after the first few pages. I spent mornings in June sitting on our deck eating my breakfast, alternating between underlining poignant passages and dabbing my eyes as tears of recognition pooled.

Regardless of how busyI was, I knew I needed to make time for Playing Big and make time I did.

Within the first chapter I had a running list of women in my life who needed this book (including me!). The way that author Tara Mohr describes the subtle and insidious ways that we as women, especially sophisticated women, play small made me want to stand up and shout:

“Yes! That is SO TRUE!”

Here’s what I love about this book: It’s not just theoretical. Tara offers really smart, practical advice for playing bigger in our lives.

And in case you get tired just thinking about playing big, it doesn’t have to be what you think.

Tara defines it like this:

twitter_standingPlaying big is being more loyal to your dreams than to your fears. (Tweet it)

Um, yes please! I’ll have some of that. You with me?

If you find yourself racked by fear, self doubt, and a persistent feeling that there has to be more than this, this is your book.

I recently had a chat with Tara on Glimpse TV about her new book and what playing big really means for women today. I was so nourished by our conversation. Today I’m sharing it with you, knowing that you’ll find Tara’s words as resonant as I have.

In today’s episode of Glimpse TV Tara and I talk about:

  • What to do when you wake up and realize your life is happening right now, but you’re not sure you’re actually living it
  • What fear and self doubt have in common with chronic illness and how to manage them
  • Three specific and sophisticated ways that you’re likely playing small that you’re unaware of
  • How to define your own version of playing big that’s energizing rather than exhausting
  • Why you actually don’t have to have confidence to play big
  • The type of fear that’s actually helpful for you and how to identify and work with it
  • Why you don’t need a mentor and who to seek out instead

Click below to watch the episode so that you can uncover ways youre playing small so you can cut it out ASAP!

When you order Tara’s brilliant book before October 13th, you’ll get immediate access to three bonus videos that will help you identify your calling, incorporate some Playing Big strategies in your every day communications, and more before your book even arrives.

Plus, you’ll get access to two live Q+A calls of coaching and deep dives into Playing Big directly with Tara.

Click HERE to get your book and learn more.

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Over to you:

Which of the ways that smart women tend to play small feels most familiar to you? What’s one specific way you’re ready to start playing bigger in your life? Leave a comment below. Tara and I would love to hear from you!

 

 

 

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How to go from having enough to having more than enough: Glimpse TV with Barbara Stanny

Barbara Stanny is the world’s leading expert on women and wealth. And I’m profoundly grateful to call her a friend and mentor.

Reading her book Overcoming Underearning and taking her workshop by the same name (three times!) were among the greatest influences on my journey to becoming debt-free.

There are three stages of wealth, Barbara says:

Instability: Not having enough.

Stability: Having enough.

Affluence: Having more than enough.

What’s really interesting is that for women, she says, once they’ve reached financial stability, they’re rarely motivated to make more money. Moving from stability to affluence requires feeling drawn by something bigger and the opportunity to be of service. Barbara calls this “the call to greatness.”

In her new book, Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles, Barbara outlines the four stages of Sacred Success and how to navigate the journey from stability to affluence.

I got a chance to read an early copy of the book back in May, and I gobbled it up practically in one sitting.

Here’s something Barbara shares that made me raise my eyebrows:

twitter_standingWomen’s problems with money have far less to do with money than they do with their ambivalence about power. (Tweet It!)

Whoa Nelly! How true that has been in my own life, and I’ve heard the same from thousands of women who I’ve talked to about their financial lives.

I have wanted to host Barbara on Glimpse TV since the show was born. And apparently now is the perfect time because I feel like she wrote Sacred Success for me (and of course for all the other women out there who want to know how to heed the call to greatness, whatever that means to them).

In this episode Barbara shares:

  • The most common drug of choice for women and how to break our insidious addiction.
  • Our two power sources and how to determine which one to plug into.
  • The most important thing we need to do to hear the voice of our soul.
  • Why she’s finally coming out of the spiritual closet and why it’s so terrifying.
  • What fear and money have to do with each other.
  • A revolutionary approach to money that almost no one is talking about.

Click the image below to watch this very special episode of Glimpse TV:

Please share this episode with all of the women in your life within whom you see the spark of greatness.

Click HERE to get yourself a copy of Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles.

Click HERE to find out about upcoming Sacred Success Retreats.

Click HERE to read my post from last week about how to clear up the discrepancy between what you say you want and what you’re actually getting, which was inspired by my work with Stanny.

Over to you:

What’s one way that you can create more stillness in your life so that you can hear the voice of your soul more clearly? I’m asking because this is what I’m focusing on, and I’d love to hear your ideas! Please leave a comment below.

 

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What are you getting out of staying right where you are?

This past weekend I had the great privilege of attending Barbara Stanny’s Sacred Success Retreat. Her book of the same name is available for pre-order right now and will be featured on Glimpse TV in a couple of weeks — make sure you’re on the list so you don’t miss it. There are some profound truths about women and power Barbara shared with me that you’ll want to hear.

Barbara reminded us there’s an internal conflict when we say we want something but our  results do not match our desire.

We say we want love, but deep down what we really want is to feel safe. And love feels scary. So we stay single. And safe.

We say we want to lose weight, but deep down what we really want is to feel connected to our family. And our family has always been overweight and judged slim people. So we stay heavy. And connected to our family.

We say we want to get out of debt, but deep down what we really want is to feel like we belong. And our group of friends is always commiserating about how bad the economy is and how hard it is to get out of debt. So we stay in debt. And we feel like we belong.

We all have desires. I, for one, have an insatiable appetite. I bet you do too.

twitter_standingOur desires are sacred. (Tweet It)

Yet it can be incredibly frustrating to have had the same unrealized desire for years, and years, and possibly even decades, and still not have met it.

It’s likely you’ve made a vision board, written your “list”, meditated, repeated your affirmations, practiced guided visualizations, walked a labyrinth or two, penned your Morning Pages, asked for messages in your dreams, pulled Goddess cards, attended a ritual, Feng Shui’d your home, and consulted at least one astrologer/psychic/energy healer/intuitive person.

Am I right?

So why hasn’t “it” freaking shown up yet?

twitter_standingWhen we say we want something but we don’t have it yet, we’re getting something out of not having it. (Tweet it)

This is the critical question:

What do I get out of things staying just the way they are?

What is my payoff for not changing?

Beneath your desire, there’s a deeper desire running the show.

You may want to feel safe, loved, connected, or like you belong. I promise that if you look closely, there’s a deeper need being met by you not going for what you think you want.

These questions are powerful. When you ask them, you might be surprised, and even horrified by the answers. But they’ll be the keys to unlocking the life of your dreams.

For me what has come up when I’ve asked these questions in the past is that my payoff for staying where I am is that I get to be liked. I said I wanted to play bigger in business, but really I wanted to be liked. I said I wanted to unabashedly speak my truth, but really I wanted to be liked. See how this works?

Here’s the good news:

Awareness is all that’s required right now.

Bringing these deeper drives to light for observation is often all that is needed to make a change.

(When I became aware that what was driving me was my desire to be liked, I noticed a positive change in my behavior immediately. I re-calibrated my internal compass to point to growth instead of acceptance. I continue to remind myself that it’s safe to shine and that my true community will love me no matter what. And with each passing day I am indeed playing bigger and bigger.)

You don’t have to “work” on this.

You don’t have to spend years in therapy.

You don’t have to go talk to your inner child. (Though, feel free to!)

Simply ask the questions and be open to what arises.

Inquiry creates awareness. Awareness creates change.

Simple. Elegant. And, if you’re open to it, easier than you thought it would be.

Does this resonate with you? What are you getting out of staying where you are even though you may have said you want to be somewhere else? Leave a comment – I’d love to hear from you!

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How to achieve a really big goal & other tips on pursuing a quest – Glimpse TV with Chris Guillebeau

KateNorthrupChrisGuillebeauWhen you feel called to say yes to an invitation, even if you’re not sure why, simply say yes.

Four years ago almost to the day my friend texted me that Chris Guillebeau was in my hometown, Portland, ME, on his book tour.

I happened to be in Portland that day with my mom. (I was living in NYC at the time, so this was unusual.) I also happened to be a block away from Longfellow Books, the venue for his book event. (On visits home I usually spent most of my time at my mom’s house. So this was also unusual.)

Third unusual thing about that day: we didn’t have any plans that evening.

I kind of recognized the name Chris Guillebeau from Twitter. I didn’t really know anything about this guy, but I saw that his book was called The Art of Non-Conformity. Sounded like something we’d be into.

So we said yes. And that was an evening that changed everything.

Chris Guillebeau is an adventurer. His dry sense of humor and quick wit balance beautifully with his profound humility. He’s inspiring, but not in a grandiose way.

He’s the kind of guy who makes you feel like you too can be an ordinary person who does extraordinary things.

Sitting at his book signing four years ago (9/14/2010 to be exact) I got an idea for a quest.

I was going to get rid of my apartment, most of my stuff, and my life as I knew it and hit the road on a trip called The Freedom Tour. I would teach workshops about financial freedom along the way, and I would see what types of adventures I would find.

(I invited Mike to join me for the first five days of the trip. Five days turned into 10 months, 41 states, 34,000 miles, and a wedding. It was a good quest.)

ChrisBookWhen Chris told me he was coming through Portland again to spread the word about his third book, The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding The Quest That Will Bring Purpose To Your Life, I immediately blocked the evening on my calendar.

This book weaves Chris’s own story of pursuing an audacious goal of visiting all 193 countries in the world by his 35th birthday with the stories of hundreds of other people on quests whom he connected with along the way.

I’ve recently become so aware that if we’re not pursuing something, life becomes lackluster. If you’ve ever felt like your life has an uncanny resemblance to Groundhog Day, you know what I’m talking about.

I wanted to share Chris and his new book with you because:

  1. I love Chris and he’s not only an awesome guy, he’s also an awesome writer.
  2. The way he tells stories is inherently inspiring and has catalyzed a great deal of action in my life and the lives of thousands (possibly millions) around the world.
  3. I believe in adventure and the way that having a pursuit of some kind brings happiness into our lives.
  4. I want that kind of happiness for you.

Chris and I sat down recently in the very bookstore where we met four years ago for our second Glimpse TV chat. (You can watch our first Glimpse TV episode from March of 2011 here.)

In this new episode we cover:

  • What to do when you’re doing something that no one else in your life seems to relate to.
  • Where happiness comes from.
  • How to turn a big goal that seems crazy, daunting, and unwieldy into something simple and doable.
  • Three specific stories of regular people who decided to do something decidedly un-regular.
  • Why finding a quest is so darn valuable to your life.

Click below to watch the episode. (This one has some extra goodness at the end where you get to see a side of Chris that doesn’t often come out in interviews.)

 

twitter_standingYou have to believe in your dream even if no one else does. ~Chris Guillebeau (Tweet it.)

 

Get yourself a copy of the book HERE.

Find out if Chris is coming to your town on his book tour HERE. I always meet incredible people at these events, which is a lovely side-benefit of seeing Chris and getting inspired by his work.

Over to you:

What’s your quest? Are you on one now? Are you thinking about starting one? I’d LOVE to hear about it in the comments below!

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My baby is one year old today.

My mom always says that a few years after I was born it was clear to her that she either had another baby or a book in her — but not both.

I always wanted a little brother, so when I was younger that story kind of annoyed me. But now I get it.

(Epilogue: She chose to birth a book, not another baby.)

A year ago today my book, Money: A Love Story, Untangle Your Financial Woes and Create the Life You Really Want, made its debut.

IMG_4990A year ago I celebrated that “birth” by being on the Today Show and throwing two big parties in cities near and dear to my heart: New York and Portland, Maine.

(Watch the highlight video from the NYC launch party, hosted by the generous folks at Betterment.com, HERE, and find out what Marie Forleo, Meggan Watterson, and Terri Cole have to say about it HERE.)

This year has been a big one. A really, really big one.

Getting married and launching a book in one year is a lot. I think my central nervous system is still recalibrating from the expansion.

This week I have a call with my publisher to talk about future projects. As I’ve prepared for the call it’s become crystal clear to me that I’m not the same person I was when I signed my first book contract.

I understand so much more about the creative process, about my own ebb and flow, about what it means to give something your all, and about the ways life must be reorganized to make space to create something worth creating.

Mike and I are talking about starting a family, and the parallels between launching a big creative project like a book and bringing a new human life into the world are particularly poignant right now.

I’ve dreamed of being a mom my entire life — but not just a mom, a truly present mom. I embarked on the path to create financial freedom by the age of 30 so I could create space for the little being(s) that are going to choose me as their mama.

As I look at the landscape of the next year — we run our life and business calendar from September to September because the freshness of fall feels way more new-beginning-ey than the dead of winter — I can’t help but make plans differently based on what I learned last year.

Here’s what I learned while launching my book that can apply to pretty much anything you may be wanting to birth:

1. Getting a creative project out in the world is an all hands on deck endeavor.

Going into the book process I had no idea the amount of time and energy it would require. (The writing part was the easy part for me. It was the getting it out into the world part that was a doozy.) Mike and I worked on the launch pretty much full time starting in July of 2013, and it continued at a fever pitch all the way through the spring of 2014. I’m really glad I didn’t know how much it would take because if I had, I probably would have said no to the whole thing. Could we have been more organized, more efficient, and gotten more help? Yes. But ultimately, I’ve found that getting a creation out there in a way that I’m proud of requires everything I’ve got. I’m keeping this in mind as I look at debuting other creations in the year and years ahead.

2. For most of us a book is not an efficient, effective way of earning residual income.

I talk to so many people who have a brilliant creative idea like a book. Many of them have even gone so far to write it. And most are under the erroneous impression that writing and launching a book (or other single creative work) is going to provide for them financially over the long haul. There are some people who hit the right chord of preparation and timing like J.K. Rowling with the Harry Potter series and are able to cash in. For most of us, though, even if you’re blessed to receive a book advance, it’s been spent by the time the book goes to print. And the continued sales of that book require constant care and tending. Ensuring that your book continues to sell requires getting on planes, showing up and shining at speaking gigs, pitching media outlets, guest blogging, doing interviews, attending conferences, coming up with and executing marketing campaigns, and more.

It’s a hustle and it is not for the faint of heart.

I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am that I have a source of income that doesn’t depend on my book being sold. Take home message: a book is not a business. It may be part of your business strategy, but if it’s the whole thing, you’re likely going to end up scrambling financially. Whatever you’re launching, be sure that you’re looking to see if there’s a way for you to earn recurring income from it and if so, how that actually will work.

I’m obviously a proponent of passion projects and getting your work out into the world. That said, getting serious about how money will be coming in the door and what you’ll need to do for that to happen is critically important to your quality of life.

This is why this year Mike and I are making building our network marketing business our top priority. When I have kiddos running around I do not want to have to get on an airplane and show up perfectly coiffed in order to bring home the bacon. (And I want to raise kids with Mike, not by myself while he’s providing for us outside the home.) This is precisely why we’re shifting our focus back to a grounded business that doesn’t depend on my showing up and looking and sounding good.

3. There’s always something else you could do. You have to choose when enough is enough.

There are endless ways to market a book (or anything else). There are tons of books, blogs, videos, training programs, and webinars you can study to learn how to get your work out to more people. And at some point you have to look at your life, decide what you want your days to feel like, and know when enough is enough. Round about March I realized how fundamentally tired I was and began to taper off the hustling.

twitter_standingGive yourself permission to say enough. (Tweet it.)

 

4. Everything you birth has a life of its own. At some point you have to let it go.

When people ask me how it’s going with the book these days I’m thrilled to be able to tell them that it’s doing great. It’s been translated into more than seven languages (including Vietnamese and Czech – how cool!) and has sold tens of thousands of copies. We get emails and social media messages every day from people who are reading it and finding it helpful. Here’s what’s cool: I trust that the book is out there doing its thing. We laid a powerful foundation for it this year, and now all it needs to do is find its way into the hands of people who need it. And besides the occasional speaking gig, interview, and media mention, I trust that it has a life of its own and I’m not solely responsible for it at this point. Fly baby fly.

5. There’s nothing more gratifying than being of service.

Every time someone comes up to me and tells me that Money: A Love Story has been helpful to them my heart expands. Though I can’t respond to every message we receive, they’re no less touching.

twitter_standingBeing of service is the biggest bang we could ask for. (TWEET IT)

 

As long as our own well is full there’s no better way to spend our time than doing what we can to make the world a better place. As tired I’ve felt at times during this process, knowing that this book has helped ease someone else’s path makes it worth it.

Over to you:

What are you birthing these days? What have you learned from getting things out into the world (babies, books, or otherwise) that you can share to support others in the creative launch journey? I’d love to hear from you so please leave a comment below.

 

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Missing something? I’ve got your ingredients right here.

We need each other. There’s a lot of talk in the self-actualization space about masculine energy and feminine energy. When I first heard about this concept I got very tied up in worrying about which one I was using and whether or not I was doing it “right.” Most of the time I felt likeContinue Reading

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An intimate look behind the scenes of my business model

This week I’m taking my annual sojourn to Salt Lake City, Utah, the home of my product partner, USANA, for its international convention. I don’t talk a ton about my network marketing business, but since I’ll be posting a lot on social media this week about my USANA family and what we’re up to atContinue Reading

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Is it my intuition or is it my resistance? Here’s how to know the difference.

On the one hand, there’s listening to your body, your inner wisdom, your gut feelings, your intuition, or really whatever you want to call your divine instinct. And then on the other, there’s resistance. What’s the difference? This is something I grapple with daily. I’m a worker. I can push through and produce. I canContinue Reading

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The simple practice that could save you $700 and hours of your precious time

Taming the Inner Fascist Over the weekend Mike and I had planned to spend Saturday cleaning up our house. Saturday afternoon came around. We’d been to the gym. We’d eaten. We’d put on our cleaning clothes. It was time. I asked Mike where we should start (he’s far better at structure and sequential thinking thanContinue Reading

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I was stumped.

I’d always had a clear vision of what I wanted: a beautiful house on the ocean in Maine, an adorable (and adoring) husband, plenty of space to host friends and family, and dogs and babies running around. Plus, of course, the financial freedom to support it all so my (adoring) husband and I could beContinue Reading

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