The most powerful way to protect your time . . . and your sanity.

I’ve been hearing about getting on the “No Train” for years. And until very recently, I thought I was on it.

I thought I was clear on my priorities.

I thought I was protecting my time.

I thought I was saying no to the wrong things so that I could say yes to the right things.

So why, then, was I feeling like the things that I most wanted to put my attention on were slipping through my fingers?

During a recent workshop Darren Hardy, founder of Success Magazine, shared two quotes that got me just where I needed to be gotten.

For every 100 great opportunities, I say no 99 times.” ~Warren Buffet

I’m as proud of what we don’t do as what we do.” ~Steve Jobs

Woah Nelly! Warren Buffet and Steve Jobs didn’t just start saying no when they got to the top. They got to the top by saying no.

As I sat in the workshop taking copious notes, I realized that since my book launched I’ve been operating under the assumption that at some point the requests to do things would taper off. At that point, my schedule would clear up and I could re-focus on the things that I really wanted to focus on.

As soon as this thought materialized I immediately knew how silly it was. The wonderful opportunities are never going to slow down. In fact, they’re likely going to speed up!

twitter_standingIf we wait for a pause in other people’s requests to reclaim our time, we’ll be waiting forever.

I know I want to spend more time at home. I know that I don’t want to spend another winter on a plane every single week. I know I want to write more and re-focus on nurturing and growing The Freedom Family.

Yet I was waiting for other people to stop asking me to do things before giving myself permission to clear my schedule and lovingly choose which things to put back in.

You know those moments after which you’ll never see the world the same again? This was one of those.

Try This

Per Darren’s suggestion, Mike and I made a list of every single one of our priorities. Then we narrowed it down to the top three. And then we threw out the rest of the list.

Terrifying. Freeing.

I felt like I’d had three shots of espresso even though all I’d been drinking was water.

That was two weeks ago. Ever since then, when an email comes in asking me to do something, all I have to do is check those three priorities. If it doesn’t fit in with them (and if my soul isn’t giving me a very strong yes) then I say no.

The amount of mental distraction and email clutter this has eliminated is remarkable.

Every time I say no I get a little spritz of freedom and also a little spritz of guilt or fear. They both exist. So I decided to investigate how I might shrink that spritzer bottle of guilt and fear. That stuff just isn’t good for growth.

Since I’m not so special, I bet you can relate to these.

Reasons We Don’t Say No

1. I won’t be liked.

It’s true. When we reset our compass to our own agenda and stop calibrating true north based on other people’s needs, some of them won’t like us. I’m still getting used to this. It’s not easy, but my freedom and happiness, as well as my full presence with the people closest to me, is worth pissing off a few folks.

2. They’ll forget about me.

Every time I say no to a speaking gig I worry that I’ll be forgotten about. But then I remember Steve Jobs and Warren Buffet. And unless it’s a “Hell yes!” I say no. I also remember that sometimes the best stuff is hard to get. And I’m some of the best stuff.

3. I’ll miss out on something.

At any given moment, each one of us is missing out on 99.9% of what’s going on around the world. But the real joy comes from being so present to what we are actually doing that whatever else might be going on is easily forgotten.

4. I’ll let someone down.

What I’ve found is that I let people down far more often when I say yes and then don’t follow through, or half-ass it. Plus, when I’m on the receiving end of no’s, I often feel grateful instead of let down. Giving someone a clear no is a sign of respect.

twitter_standingDoing something you don’t want to do to please someone else isn’t good for you and it isn’t good for them. 

So there you have it. The top four reasons we don’t say no and a little rebuttal for each. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to keep this list nearby. When my gut is telling me no but my ego is looking for validation, I shall refer to it and remind myself of the truth.

Over to you:

What are some of the reasons you don’t say no? How does it feel when you do say no? Have you ever said yes when you really wanted to say no?

Tell me about it in the comments below.

Money Love Course Kate NorthrupP.S. The Money Love Course opens for enrollment next week, Wednesday, April 23rd at 10am EST. It’s a 4-week online course in making, growing, giving, and receiving more value. Keep an eye on your inbox next Wednesday for more info! Make sure to join the list to get updates if you’re not already on it.

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Meet me in the Big Apple: REVEAL & Business Meets Spirituality

I’m speaking at these two incredible events coming up this spring in NYC. Join me and the soul-stirring women I’ll be sharing the stage with for down and dirty money advice mixed with spiritual wisdom nuggets.

Business Meets Spirituality

April 25-27th, 2014

NYIT Auditorium, New York City

BusinessMeetsSpirituality

Gry Sindig has contagiously positive energy. She stopped by the apartment where I was staying this fall to get twelve copies of Money: A Love Story signed for her mastermind participants. Even though we only spent a few minutes together, as soon as she left I knew I wanted to know her better.

Until Sunday, April 13th there’s a limited time offer of 2-for-1 tickets that you won’t want to miss out on.

BMS is a one of a kind event that brings ambitious solo-entrepreneurs and leaders from “all over the world” together in a truly inspiring environment in New York. This is a unique chance to meet and learn from the most talented speakers out there as leaders from Norway and the US will share their inspirational stories and knowledge.

At BMS you can learn how to infuse more of you in your business from spiritual leaders like Princesses Märtha Louise & Elisabeth Nordeng; The host and online marketing pioneer, Gry Sinding will teach you the online strategies you need to know to boost your business; Not to mention, you will hear inspirational and groundbreaking stories from successful authors/CEOs/artists, etc. like Kathrine Aspaas, Anita Krohn Traaseth, Mona Nordøy, Dagny Thurmann-Hoelseth and yours truly.

The goal with BMS is to boost your energy and drive for success, while also teaching you the internet marketing and business strategies you need to know, so you can create a online business model where you can make more money AND make a difference. Inspiring you to take your business from little or nothing, to really something.

If you are an ambitious leader or an entrepreneur who wants to make a difference, while making money in the process, then join us for Business Meets Spirituality: an event full of inspiration, training, and unique perspectives on building a business with passion and purpose! Oh yeah, the house will be packed with fantastic women, but men are very welcome to join as well : )

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE AND RESERVE YOUR TICKET.

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I never really knew what a miracle was.

I was interviewing my friend Gabrielle Bernstein for the Hay House New Year New You Summit and she kept talking about prayer and miracles, like she tends to do.

Now, I’m a spiritual gal. I always have been. But I kept getting stuck on the world miracle.

Up until that moment my idea of a miracle was Jesus walking on water or someone suddenly being able to run after years of being bound to a wheel chair. I could sense by the way Gabby was talking that this wasn’t necessarily the kind of grandiose miracle she was referring to.

So I asked her: “Gab, when you say miracle, what exactly do you mean?”

Her reply was fabulously simple: “A shift in perception.”

Oh! That’s a miracle?! Well geez. I have those all the time. And those are WAY more available to all of us than the over the top anomalies I had imagined.

Gabby’s definition of a miracle is downright freeing. Just a few weeks ago I was sitting at a conference listening to a speaker who I’d seen before who I hadn’t particularly resonated with. But something shifted as I sat and listened because I opened my heart and mind to him. Suddenly, I couldn’t take enough notes and a few hours flew by like it had been a few minutes. I left the lecture feeling more inspired and more clarity than I can remember feeling in a long time. It was a miracle.

This week Gabby’s new book, Miracles Now: 108 Life-Changing Tools for Less Stress, More Flow, and Finding Your True Purpose is out.

Screen Shot 2014-04-09 at 1.35.42 PM

I’ve been using the book like a divination tool. When I’m feeling a little stuck or I’m looking for a shift in perception, I open it up and I read whatever message is on the page. I trust that it is exactly the right message I need to create a miracle in that moment.

The book is chock full of simple practices to help you ramp up your abundance, too. Gabby shared one with me called “Pray Before You Pay”  in the video below. An abundance practice/tool of mine is also featured in the book. It’s practice #53 and it’s called “Value Yourself And The World Will Value You.”

Check out the 2 minute video of Gabby and me below for a quick wisdom nugget that will help you feel less stressed out about your money right away.

Share the miracle:

Pray before you pay. #MiraclesNow (Tweet it!)

Over to you:

What are some short, miracle creating practices that you do? I’d love to hear what tips you have for stress reduction and getting back into the flow. Leave a comment below!

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Fear of public speaking, self-trust, and coming home: Glimpse TV with Gail Larsen

I used to be terrified of public speaking. I barely slept because I was so anxious the summer I first started doing live USANA presentations. One time in high school I woke up unable to walk the day I had a presentation. Coincidence? I think not.

While I was on The Freedom Tour Danielle LaPorte suggested I go see Gail Larsen for her Transformational Speaking Immersion weekend in Santa Fe. I was eyeballs deep in grappling with my fear about writing Money: A Love Story and crafting a new life for myself. I figured, why not face the speaking fear head-on right along with all the others? Plus, if DLP says to do something, I’m pretty much in every time.

So Mike and I drove from Scottsdale, AZ to Santa Fe, NM and I met Gail. And I was indeed transformed by the weekend.

Here’s what I love about Gail: she’s incredibly sweet and simultaneously fierce as all get-out. She has a profound a way of eliciting one’s true message, or medicine, as she calls it. When I showed up for the weekend I was still totally unclear about what I wanted to say. To be honest, I was pretty unclear whether I even had anything worth saying.

Gail taught me how to tune in to the wisdom of my body and access my “home zone” to tell my story. Working with Gail gave me permission to show up exactly as I was, warts and all, and tell the truth.

She helped me trust my voice.

She helped me see that I have a message that’s important.

She helped me know that I am enough.

While I still get nervous each and every time I step out onstage, I now know how to be true to myself and my message while riding the wave of emotion. I have Gail to thank for a new level of freedom.

To celebrate Gail’s launch of her new program, Transformational Speaking Online, I invited her to be a guest on Glimpse TV.

If you have a fear of public speaking, have ever struggled with self-doubt, or could use some guidance about coming home to yourself, tune in to our episode below.

Be sure you watch until the end, where Gail makes me cry with her articulation of why each of our voices is crucial on the planet.

Fear is excitement without the breath. ~Fritz Perls via Gail Larsen (Click to TweeT)

Want more Gail in your life?

Get to know Gail and some amazing graduates of Transformational Speaking for free by joining in on the Holy Fool’s Day Celebration on April 1st: click HERE.

To learn more about Transformational Speaking Online, click HERE. There’s a fast-action discount of $300 that’s good until April 7th so be sure to get your buns over there and check it out sooner rather than later.

Over to you:

Have you ever experienced a fear of public speaking? What did you do to move past it? Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

 

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9 critical factors for surviving cancer against all odds: Glimpse TV with Dr. Kelly Turner

photo1My friend Dr. Kelly Turner has spent years studying medical anomalies that are more common than we think.

Having stumbled upon cases of spontaneous remission in cancer patients while she was getting her undergraduate degree at Harvard, Kelly wanted to learn more. She was shocked to find out how little research was being done by the medical community on these cases of patients healing from cancer, either without undergoing Western medical treatment or after such treatment had failed.

So she set out on an around-the-world adventure with her husband, Aaron, to interview over 150 people who’d healed from cancer against all odds.

Her new book, Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds, is out. It represents the culmination both of these interviews and of her study of over 1,000 other cases of healing in cancer patients. (She was also featured on The Dr. Oz Show this week!)41ug8U+sfcL

Here’s what I love about this book: it applies to everyone, cancer patient or not. This book is FULL of practical strategies and hope for those who are living with cancer and those who are simply wanting to live a healthy lifestyle.

The book outlines 9 critical factors that supported patients in their healing, which Kelly identified in her research. They include:

  • changing your diet
  • taking supplements
  • taking control over your treatment
  • having a social support structure
  • releasing suppressed emotions
  • and 4 other surprising and exciting factors

What I found so fascinating is that only 2 of the factors are physical. The remaining 7 are emotional, mental, or spiritual shifts that contribute significantly to healing.

If you or anyone in your life has cancer, wants to decrease the likelihood of it developing, or simply wants to enhance their health, get this book. It’s full of inspiring stories, it’s really well written, and it gives you simple, specific action steps to take to incorporate Kelly’s findings into your life.

Kelly and I had a chance to sit down and have a chat about her new book in an episode of Glimpse TV. Check out the episode to learn:

  • why Kelly is a little nervous to put a book on such a controversial topic out into the world
  • what it’s like to be a brand-new mom launching a book
  • how to navigate the fine line in mind/body research between blaming people for their diseases and empowering them to heal
  • what all 9 critical factors in surviving cancer against all odds have in common
  • Kelly’s secret, silly habit and our shared nerdy obsession

Click below to watch the episode.

Spread the love:

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~Albert Einstein (Click to Tweet)

Join the movement:

If you or anyone you know has a case of radical remission to report, please visit RadicalRemission.com to submit it to Kelly’s archive.

Over to you:

Have you ever heard of cases of radical remission? What do you do on a regular basis to keep yourself healthy?

I’d love to hear your ideas so leave a comment below!

 

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No matter who they are, they will be touched.

I find myself frequently wanting to send fan mail and gushing texts of love. I used to hold back because I thought that if someone had reached a certain level of success, wealth, fame, achievement, or — insert whatever word you’d like here for “bigness” — they were probably saturated with positive feedback. When Money: AContinue Reading

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The answer you’ve been looking for.

Mike and I just flew to London, where we’re hanging out with my family and their menagerie of amazing animals, until this weekend when I speak at the UK and Hamburg Ignite Conferences. (Side note: my family has a dwarf hamster named Crusher who’s pretty much the cutest thing I’ve seen in my entire life.)Continue Reading

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If you really want freedom you have to do this one thing.

When I find myself doing Q + A (which is often because I love it), I’m frequently asked: “How can I make more money?” It’s a hot topic, no? My answer is always some variation on: “If you want to make more money you have to add more value.” (Click to tweet) But it’s not always asContinue Reading

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Don’t take advice from these people.

When I was 18 and I started my first business, I asked a lot of people for advice. Since I was so young I asked mostly older people for their opinion about what I was up to. I assumed since they’d been alive longer than I had that their advice would be good. Some ofContinue Reading

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When folks are this excited I just have to spread the word

I originally planned to pass this little reminder to watch the replay of the free class I taught last week out to only the people who’d registered for it. However, we’re experiencing an outpouring of love and enthusiasm for the class that’s far beyond our original expectations so I didn’t want you to miss out.Continue Reading

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