An open letter to my mom.

written by Kate on May 12, 2013

KateNorthrupMomBabyPhotoI was inspired to write this by Nisha Moodley and Linda Siversten who both posted beautiful tributes  to their mothers and to Mother’s Day at large this week.

(That’s my mom and me on the left.)

My mom recently told me about working with her lawyer regarding a course she was teaching called Lightening the Mother Load: Healing Strategies for Daughters. He was trying to grasp what it was about and she started with:

“Well, think about your wife and her mother”

He stopped her right there with: “Say no more!”

The mother-daughter relationship is so ripe with opportunity for loving the gifts of the feminine unabashedly, for honoring the Great Mother and Mother Earth, and for the celebration of being a woman.

Is it a complicated relationship? Ummm, yeah.

Is it hard? Yep, a lot of the time it is.

Does it have the potential to be one of the most healing relationships in your life? You betcha.

You know what they say:

If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

The relationships or situations in our lives that are the most challenging are often the most fertile with opportunities for big love.

Our moms wouldn’t drive us so bonkers if we didn’t love them so fiercely. You were formed in your mother’s body. There’s no closer relationship on earth. You are, quite literally, her.

There are a lot of things that are easy to be grateful for about my mom (like how she always told Annie and I we could trust how we felt no matter what. This is the single biggest contributing factor to my being a sane, happy adult.) I’ve written her a private letter of gratitude that I’m giving her today that focuses on all the obviously amazing ways that she rocks as a mom.

But what about the gifts we’ve been given by our mother’s that, when we were given them, weren’t so obviously fabulous?

What if this Mother’s Day (that’s today) you decided to love your mom with vigor, unabashedly, as a way of not only celebrating her, but also as a way of shining some love on the parts of you that you have previously found unlovable?

I’ll start. Here’s a public letter to my mom to thank her for all the things she is or that I am that at some point in my life I have had a hard time loving.

It is not until we learn to love the hard to love parts that we really get what true love is.

Mom,

KateNorthrupHobbitFeetThank you for the Hobbit Feet. I posted a picture of mine on Instagram yesterday and it sparked the most adorable conversation with someone else who’s whole family has them too. Even though I was embarrassed to wear flip flops as a teenager because I didn’t want people to see them, I get it now how awesome it is to be grounded like us. Thank you for that tap-root to Mother Earth. Thank you for my first chakra the size of Texas. Thank you for my wide, grounded, very much on the earth feet.

Thank you for laughing as loud as you want, no matter where you are or who is trying to shush you. I used to be mortified at the theater when the people in the row in front would turn around and glare at you to try and quiet you down. But now when I hear that same enthusiastic laugh come out of my mouth and people give me funny looks, I get it. I’m so grateful you never quieted down. Neither will I.

Thank you for not being like the other mothers. I so desperately wanted for us to be normal when I was a kid. And the truth is, it just wasn’t going to happen. Thank you for hanging out on the fringe, for doing ceremonies around the lunar calendar, for suggesting Imprint Removals and Divine Love Healings to clear up physical symptoms, and for believing in angels. Thank you for not wearing the matching Laura Ashley dresses with me and Annie even though we really wanted you too. Thank you for not caring what other people think. Thank you for being wacky and wonderful always.

Thank you for sticking up for me. I wanted to climb under a table and die when I found out you marched into my first grade class to set the teacher straight about telling the class we could only go to the bathroom at certain, pre-approved times. But it also engrained in me that I had a woman who would be there for me (and my bladder’s needs) no matter what. I knew I was safe. Thank you for letting me quit Junior Great Books. Thank you for letting me quit soccer and swimming and piano. Thank you for not letting anyone get in the way of me trusting myself and my body. 

KateNorthrupChristianeNorthrup

Thank you for the very big shoes you’ve given Annie and me to fill. There are some days when I think it would beeasier if I didn’t have such a lofty legacy. Then I would be more comfortable with mediocrity. And life would be easier in certain ways, but oh so boring in others. Thank you for playing full out, saying things that others are too afraid to, and for being a pioneer. Thank you for setting the bar high in your career, and more importantly, in your life. I’ve seen you give up good for great many times. I shall continue to go for great in your honor (and in mine.)

You have been, and continue to be, the most perfect mother for me. Thank you for being all of you and for letting me be all of me.

Love,

Kate

It is not until we learn to love the hard to love parts that we really get what true love is. (Tweet it.)

What have you inherited from your mom that you used to not be happy about? How has it been a gift in the end?

 

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Reveal with me

written by Kate on May 8, 2013

“In the company of women, it’s easier for each of us to remember our own truth. We remember that our lives depend on our capacity to drop all facades and pretenses. We remember the bliss of just accepting that we are here to be ourselves. And we remember, together, that the most powerful place for us to be, even if it is sometimes terrifying, is fully in our body, so that we can move with the vulnerability and compassion of a broken-open heart.”

~Excerpt from REVEAL: A Sacred Manual for Getting Spiritually Naked by Meggan Watterson

Since my ladylove Meggan was a little girl, she has been compelled by a singular passion to answer this question: “What does spirituality look like for a woman who hasn’t abandoned her own body?” This uncompromising passion led her to earn two theological degrees, to go on two pilgrimages, and to devote two decades of her life unearthing the Divine Feminine.

Ultimately, by finding the voice of the Divine Feminine she also found her own soul-voice, the one buried beneath veils of fear and self-doubt.

What she has desired most is to share her story in a way that might help other women do the same- to find the voice of unfaltering truth and love inside them. It is that desire that has led Meggan to write the book REVEAL: A Sacred Manual For Getting Spiritually Naked and to create REVEAL: The Event, a day-long urban retreat that is a triumvirate of one part fiery soul-voices, one part ritual, and one part dance party!

On Saturday, May 18th, 2013, join Meggan, Gabrielle Bernstein, Alisa Vitti, Latham Thomas, Dawn Copeland, Joanna Lindenbaum, Jamia Wilson, Donna Freitas, Morley, Rha Goddess, Rochielle Schieck and more as we share our passion for encouraging women to hear and heed the audacity of the soul.

REVEAL: The Event

Union Theological Seminary in Manhattan

121st Street & Broadway in NYC

10am – 6pm EST

The most illuminated goal of REVEAL is to come together- to lift & light each other up. REVEAL is a communal affair, for us each to expand our soul.

Join us to connect to the wisdom within you, claim your bodies as sacred, and become soulful agents of positive change in the world. For more information about REVEAL The Event- http://megganwatterson.com/reveal-the-event/

Enter Discount Code REVEAL2013 to receive $75 off!!!

Tickets are now available at http://revealtheevent.eventbrite.com/

This day will light you up, mind, body, and soul. Speaking at the last Reveal conference in 2011 stands as one of the most transformational experiences of my life. My book was born at that event, as well as friendships and insights that will be with me forever.

Join us. Your soul with thank you.

Don’t forget the discount code to save $75: REVEAL2013: http://revealtheevent.eventbrite.com/

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3 simple steps to stop making it so freaking hard

written by Kate on May 3, 2013

This year Mike and I have had a goal to be one of the top 25 growers in the network marketing company we partner with.

Last year we had the same goal and we missed it by one spot. We were number 26. It simultaneously felt great to be that close (you know what they say: if you shoot for the moon, at least you’ll land amongst the stars) and crappy to miss the chance to be whisked away on an all-expenses-paid trip to the Dominican Republic.

So, we set the goal again this year. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

But here’s the thing: until very recently, I had been holding on so tightly to this goal that if it had been a little bird, I would have killed it by now.

The goal had claw marks in it. It couldn’t breathe because I’d been suffocating it with the intensity of my grip.

Suffice it to say, having this goal was not feeling good. It felt desperate, needy, icky, and pressured.

Thankfully, while I was having dinner the other night with Scott, one of the top earners in our company, I shared my goal to be in the Growth 25 and how it wasn’t feeling good. I also shared my action plan to achieve it: work my butt off and sacrifice everything for the next 10 weeks to make it happen.

In his adorable Texas drawl, Scott replied:

“You know, often times we think that in order to make more money we have to work harder. But that’s not always the case.”

Cut to me sitting next to him, a stunned expression on my face.

Do I not teach the power of choosing ease?

Do I not teach how the feminine energy of pleasure and enjoyment attracts to us what we want?

Do I not teach that there’s no inherent value in working more hours just for the sake of working?

Do I not teach that it’s not about working harder, but instead smarter?

Yet here I was with my death grip on a goal, ready to sacrifice enjoyment and well-being to grow my business.

Thank God for Scott and his simple wisdom.

It doesn’t always have to be so freaking hard.

Is there value in buckling down? Absolutely.

Do you sometimes have to forego your freshly homemade green juice for producing good work on that particular day? You bet your bippy.

Is getting where we want to go sometimes uncomfortable? It can be, especially if it’s somewhere we haven’t been before.

But squeezing our goals so hard that we give ourselves anxiety attacks from the pressure of it all is totally optional — and actually possibly not even particularly productive.

Not taking good care of yourself in the name of hitting a goal just for the goal’s sake is absolutely insane.

Working harder and harder for more and more hours without intentionally choosing actions that produce results is asinine.

As I listened to Scott talk about the possibility of growing a business by focusing on efficiency and cutting out the activities that don’t net the results we’re looking for, my shoulders relaxed.

As he waxed eloquent about the power of outsourcing, focusing on the most important, not necessarily the most urgent, tasks first, and having clear boundaries, my soul breathed a sigh of relief.

Go for what you want. Go for it with gusto.

But remember that white-knuckling it and suffering for the sake of achievement is absolutely optional.

How you do it is what you get.

When you make it to the podium, get the gig, win the award, or cash the check, it will feel better if you made the process part of the prize.

And remember, making more money, growing your business, or expanding in any way you desire doesn’t necessarily mean working harder.

You want 3 concrete steps to help you stop making it so freaking hard? Here you go:

1. Get clear on what you want (and perhaps more importantly, why you want it).

2. Choose the activities necessary to get you there without spending a lot of time and energy on extraneous stuff that doesn’t net results.

3. Enjoy the heck out of making it happen.

Then you can smile with the delicious satisfaction of not only having reached your goal, but also of having had a damn good time along the way.

This is what I shall be doing over the next 10 weeks as I grow my business with ease and pleasure.

It doesn’t have to be so freaking hard. How you do it is what you get. (Tweet it.)

Do you have a goal that could benefit from you loosening your grip a bit?

How do you make sure that you enjoy the journey while reaching for a goal?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

 

180x150-Lightening-the-Mother-LoadP.S. Speaking of things not having to be so freaking hard, my mom, Dr. Christiane Northrup, is teaching a fabulous course called Lightening the Mother Load: Healing Strategies for Daughters starting May 9th. In honor of Mother’s Day and the mother-daughter relationship often being one of the most challenging in our entire lives, she’s teaching a course to give you some practical ways to infuse your relationship with your mother with more ease. Interested? Click to find out more and register.

 

 

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What Is EFT? Stress Management and $ with Nick Ortner of The Tapping Solution

written by Kate on April 16, 2013

the-tapping-solutionEvery day for the past week, I’ve been doing this weird thing that makes me look like a monkey .

It’s called EFT, or The Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping, and I love it!

My friend Nick Ortner just came out with his first book, The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living. This book teaches you how to use this initially kind of strange, but incredibly simple and effective, technique to overcome everything from physical pain to limiting beliefs to childhood trauma.

To celebrate The Tapping Solution getting on the NY Times bestseller list last week, I invited Nick onto Glimpse TV. I wanted to make sure you guys got to meet the adorable man behind this fabulous book. And I also wanted to give you a taste of how easy and effective tapping can be!

In the video below you’ll get:

  • to hear Nick telling his incredible story of digging out of $1 million in debt using EFT
  • to find out what problems you may be having that EFT can help with
  • a live demonstration of using EFT to overcome financial stress, which you can tap right along with while you watch

If you want to see Nick and I looking like monkeys AND overcome your financial stress in as little as a few minutes, watch the episode below.

Get your copy of The Tapping Solution here.

In the comments below, let us know how the tapping was for you! Did you feel better? Do you use tapping regularly? What do you use it for? We’d love to hear from you!

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People showed up here for what you have to say — so say it.

written by Kate on April 14, 2013

The clock was dangerously nearing 12:30pm. Tummies were grumbling. Butts were getting sore from sitting too long. Blood sugar levels were dipping.

My talk, Money: A Love Story, was supposed to end the morning session. But the audience’s (and my own) need for a break were obvious.

So I whispered to the organizer:

“I don’t have to speak today. Let’s just take me off the agenda so we can stay on schedule, or at least I’ll just speak for 5 minutes instead of 30.”

It seemed logical. We were running over. There was too much information to cover in too little time. I would just take myself out and make it easier for everyone. Done and done.

During the lunch break I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the headlining speaker, who’d flown in from Florida to share his expertise with the group.

He said:

“Kate, I heard you asked to be removed from the program or to only speak for 5 minutes. There are people who have driven here to this event to hear you and what you have to say. You will speak for your full time because what you have to share is important.”

The familiar feeling of tears pooling atop my bottom eyelids was there. It was one of those moments of great recognition.

My topic that day was about the importance of valuing ourselves in order to make more money and become a better money manager. Money is all about what we value, and we have to start with ourselves.

Yet, in asking to be removed from the program, I had slipped into an old pattern of undervaluing my own contribution. I was throwing myself under the bus, once again. (We really do teach what we need to learn.)

Sometimes being conscientious of time, resources, and others’ needs is a way of covering up the fact that we don’t value ourselves enough.

When we’re not giving our contribution the credence it deserves, we:

  • apologize for taking up too much space
  • make ourselves small (sometimes literally by scrunching ourselves up or crossing our legs and arms too tightly)
  • keep our hands down even when we have something to say
  • keep our mouths shut
  • take only 15 minutes of the 30 minutes given to us
  • volunteer to be taken off the program

I’m so grateful the gentleman I was sharing the stage with that day said something to me to remind me to honor my contribution.

In the end, I gave my full 30-minute talk and many people came up to me and told me that it was exactly what they needed to hear that day.

Take-home message:

If you don’t speak up, you could be preventing someone from hearing exactly what they needed to. (Tweet it)

So . . .

Show up.

Speak up.

Grab the mic.

Take your time.

Take up space.

Turn up your volume.

Stand up tall.

Sing loud and proud.

Shake what your mama gave you.

And keep yourself on the program.

 

Do you ever find yourself trying to not take up too much space or keeping your mouth shut? I’d love to hear your stories and thoughts in the comments!

 

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Hormonal Balance and Becoming a Power Source: Glimpse TV with Alisa Vitti

written by Kate on April 5, 2013

What? Another episode of Glimpse TV? Awesome!!! It’s been SUCH an amazing week of Glimpse TV goodness, has it not? Today I’m thrilled to present my dear friend Alisa Vitti who just released her first book, Woman Code: Perfect Your Cycle, Amplify Your Fertility, Supercharge Your Sex Drive, and Become A Power Source. Have you… Continue Reading

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Symptoms of Anxiety and Spiritual Healing: Glimpse TV with Meggan Watterson

written by Kate on April 3, 2013

It’s a book! My heart is bursting in celebration of my soul sister Meggan Watterson’s book launching today! Reveal: A Sacred Manual for Getting Spiritually Naked is available in stores and online everywhere. I recommend buying a few copies because this is one you’re going to want to spread around to all your girlfriends. Tonight we’ll be… Continue Reading

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Pregnancy and Childbirth: Get Your Mama Glow On with Latham Thomas

written by Kate on April 2, 2013

I’m so excited to be in New York City this week celebrating the birthdays of a few of my friends’ books! In honor of all of these literary Aries babies, I’m devoting this week to Glimpse TV so that you won’t miss out on a single nugget of wisdom and fun from these amazing authors.… Continue Reading

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One sneakily simple way to make more money

One sneakily simple way to make more money

written by Kate on March 20, 2013

There are a lot of things we want more of in life. We want more love, more time, more sleep, more adventures, and yes, we often want more money. And one of the best ways to have more money is often not only the simplest and most obvious, it’s also the most frequently overlooked. The… Continue Reading

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Is it time for you?

written by Kate on March 15, 2013

I was supposed to wake up today at 3am to catch a 5:45am flight home from Seattle, where I attended Creative Live. I was jolted awake at 3:55am by the phone ringing. It was the hotel front desk telling me that my car had arrived 15 minutes ago and was waiting for me. Aaaaah! Adrenaline-infused… Continue Reading

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